It happened so innocently.
My wife and I were feeding Easton on the couch when all of a sudden Aniston announces, “I want a white wedding dress.” Cherie and I look at each other and without missing a beat Aniston went on to describe this magical gown.
Here are some details:
– It is white with long sleeves
– It has flowers at the bottom
– Her hair will be worn down, “not in a pony daddy!”
– There will be pink and purple flowers in her hair like Rapunzel
– She does not want a headband in her hair
– The bridesmaids will be wearing pink and purple dresses as well
At least, this is what the paramedics told me when I woke up in the ER. I don’t really remember much after I passed out and hit my head. I guess the thought of my 3 year old getting married was too much.
The truth is that my daughter really just wanted a dress. She wanted to play dress up and wear pretty clothes and on this day she wanted a white wedding dress.
What she didn’t want was to get married. (Thank you sweet Jesus J )
You see getting married is a far bigger deal than playing dress up or even having a wedding.
Every day, lots of people play dress up and have weddings. It’s called Vegas.
But very few people want a marriage.
A marriage requires compromise, submission, forgiveness, love, patience, and so much more I don’t have space to write them all. Marriage is a commitment of a man and woman to each other until death parts them. Marriage is covenant between them and God to love each other and to be there for each other through the good and the not so good. Marriage is guaranteed journey that will be filled with ups and downs, ins and outs, smiles and screams, and will test everything about you.
This is why I see more and more people wanting a wedding more than a marriage.
They want the dress-up party, dancing, presents, and honeymoon way more than holding wrinkled hands at their 50th anniversary celebration.
Tragically, these marriages dissolve because of the selfish and fleeting desire of “happiness” one or both them are chasing. It’s the pursuit of that “wedding feeling” every day of their lives, but when the music fades and the make-up gets washed off real life begins.
The people that bail on their marriages and run into the arms of money, freedom, independence, another person, or any other fruitless pursuit are the ones missing out. They miss out on the aged beauty found in a long lasting relationship seasoned with time.
My friends please hear these next words.
If you are married, keep working at it even if it’s hard. Don’t fall for the mirage of happiness you think you see in the distance. Rub your eyes and realize God has you and your spouse together for the long haul for something far better than happiness.
If you are separated or divorced, it’s not too late. Forgiveness is what God does best…just ask Jesus. If you have chosen to believe the lies of happiness and have strayed from your spouse you can always turn back. Humble yourself and get back in the fight for your marriage. It’s worth it.
If you are single, get your relationship with God right first. The best gift you can give your spouse is to have a strong relationship with Christ. If you are able to establish your identity and joy in Him then you will not put unnecessary expectation or pressure on your spouse. Find your identity in Him and praise Him for the chance to share love with the person He brings into your life. Pursue God not happiness.
My prayer is that more people work to get past the new car marriage smell and realize the true design God had for marriage. Don’t believe the lie that the best day of your marriage is the first because the best is yet to come.