True Confessions Of A First Time Dad: I Will Be On The Next Wal-Mart E-mail Forward

Aniston continues her pursuit of training her potty, but on this day her brain and bladder were recreating the NFL Lockout and were not talking.

As a result, we had a breach of the “dam” and the pee-pee was a flowing.

Normally it wouldn’t be a big deal, but on this occasion she had come with me to a meeting…in a school…far from home and to compound things further I had unknowingly left the house without back up.  So with no outfit back up I was reduced to a daughter with only a diaper and shirt to clothe her.

Now, there are a lot of recurring nightmares that I suffer from.

  • There’s the one where I am back playing baseball and every time I try to run I am in sand to my waist so I never can get a base hit.
  • There’s the one where I am back in elementary school and instead of putting kids in the garbage cans I am the kid in the can.
  • Then there’s the one where Cherie says ”no” to my marriage proposal and I go on to collect cats and holiday sweaters while spiraling down into my own personal depression.  Too much?

But by far the one that makes me wake up in cold sweats with shakes is the one where I am one of “those people” you see on the Wal-Mart e-mail forwards.

You know what I’m talking about.

The ones with the picture of the person wearing fish net stockings covered up by a pair of cut off sweatpants short shorts.  Their shirt is combination of a white mesh tube top that shows off their pink bra.  Completed with an 80’s perm and high heals.  And that’s the guys!

Normally I can wake up from these night terrors and Cherie will rock me back to sleep, but last Saturday.  My nightmare came true.

With my near naked child, I was stuck.  I didn’t have time to go home and I didn’t have anyone close that I could sheepishly ask to borrow clothes from.  There was only one option.


So I took my little diaper toting, no shoe wearing, hair frazzled Beeger with me to Wal-Mart and went as fast as I could to the kids clothing.  To top off the day, Aniston was exhausted and was not her happy self.  So as we came back through the store to go pay she was crying and saying “I love my mommy so much!”

So now, not only do I look like one of the Wal-Mart Top Ten crazy people, but to ice the cake I now look like a kidnapper!  Super.

I have a total new respect for those people I see on the e-mails.  Who knows what kind of day they had when those shots were snapped.

On this day, I got slapped in the face with the cover of the book I judged to quickly.

It’s so easy to jump to a conclusion or fill in the blanks on someone’s life just by looking at them isn’t it?

I mean all I need is the label on their clothes, the type of car they drive, the color of their skin, and maybe a pay stub to tell you pretty much who they are and how they got where they’re at in life.

But my experience with Aniston and her diaper butted shopping spree reminded me that is a total garbage way of thinking.

Jesus didn’t care about the resume or social status of those that He hung around.  In fact He seemed to seek out the B-side of society and only listened to the deep tracks of the “artists” He hung out with.

I don’t know about you, but I need to check my pride and arrogance at the door more often to make sure I’m not looking down on the ones that God has called me to reach out to.    I pray I don’t forget that at one time God didn’t look past me in my sinful life, but instead extended the perfect hand of Grace through Jesus to clean up my messed up world.

I need to be willing to do that same thing to those around me and not be so quick to add them to the Wal-Mart highlight reel.

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