With persuasive words she led him astray;
she seduced him with her smooth talk.
Men are monkeys.
You can dress us up in clothes, teach us to use a fork, and even train us to change a diaper, but when all is said and done what we really want to do is swing from branch to branch, make grunting noises, and scratch ourselves.
Sadly, only women know this fact about men. Men think we are manly men, but women can see our knuckles dragging on the ground from a mile away. They know that if they roll the right shiny object in front of us we will chase it like a Fantasy Football draft in July.
In no way does this excuse the monkey. As men we need to stop scratching and start leading in a big way. Too many of us just resign ourselves to the cavemen mentality because after all “that’s just how we are.” Give me a break. I know 16-year-old boys that have sailed around the world so I think you Mr. 45-year-old man can take out the trash.
But ladies, knowing how to get a man’s attention is not always a skill you use for good is it? And no, I’m not talking about your cooking skills.
In Proverbs 7:10-23, Solomon shows us how a provocative wife used her skills to seduce a young man.
- She wore sexy clothes – vs. 10
- She was a party girl – vs. 11
- She was the aggressor – vs. 13a, 15
- She did her make-up and was tanned– vs. 13b
- She pretended to be outwardly religious – vs. 14
- She prepared the shag pad – vs. 16-17
- She presented her plan as innocent and fun – vs. 18
- She made sure her husband was gone – vs. 19-20
- She used speech that was sexy and persuasive – vs. 21
Looking at Proverbs 7 through the eyes of the adulteress woman pained me and caused so many questions to bubble up.
Why would a married woman with a wealthy husband make herself into a prostitute and stoop to such a level? Was her husband gone a lot? Did he ignore her at home? Did he not call her beautiful or say he loved her? Was she just bored? Did she not get a call back to the Jersey Shore?
You see, although adultery is statistically more rampant among married men, women are also guilty. Lack of attention, intimacy, and romance are high on the list of why woman decide to cheat, but loneliness and the need for excitement are close seconds. However, what I see happening in marriage is bigger than this list.
Hundreds of years ago, Paul nailed it in his letter to the Romans when he said,
“Therefore God gave them over in sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.
They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshipped and served created things rather than the Creator“ – Romans 1:24-26
What may have happened in this proverb is that the woman made her husband her god. She placed God-like expectations onto him and she was disappointed when he couldn’t meet them all. So after trying desperately to change him and mold him into what she wanted him to be she got fed up. She started telling herself “I deserve better” and “I need more out of the relationship that he can give me” and she stepped to the edge of a very slippery slope.
It started out with jealous looks at other people’s relationships and “wanting that” for themselves. She then started opening her eyes and ears a little wider to men around her “window-shopping” for the God-attributes she was missing. Finally when she found one that seems to meet all her expectations she rolled out the shiny object to catch her prey. Ignoring the effects on her marriage or kids, she dove into a new relationship with a new man only to find out he’s not God and she started the cycle again. She created a new house for herself that is “a highway to the grave leading down to the chambers of death.” (Proverbs 7:27)
Listen to me carefully.
God never intended a man to take the place of Him.
God intended for us to place Him #1 in our life and to follow Him intimately and faithfully so that He can love, cherish, protect, and guide us. A man cannot ever fill that job description. A husband can’t be that for his wife and a wife can’t be that for her husband.
What God is crying out for us to do in our moments of weakness and frustration is to turn to Him for our strength and not the arms of another man. Don’t let Satan’s lies tell you that the next “man-Kleenex” that comes out of the box is the answer. Believe me there will never be a shortage of men in the box that will fall for your advances.
Let God be the King in your life and let your husband be your husband. When you take those expectations off of your husband you will enjoy your monkey a lot more.