Seeking Wisdom – Proverbs 27: What Kind Of FRIEND Are You?

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“Wounds from a friend can be trusted,

but an enemy multiplies kisses

Proverbs 27:6

I am a product of the FRIENDS generation.  You know, the hit TV show with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel that was on NBC for like 10 years.  Yep that one.  In fact my wife and I before we were married would have FRIENDS date nights in college to keep up with all the shows.  The proof that we got fully enmeshed is seen in the fact that my wife and I named our daughter Aniston because we loved Jennifer Aniston’s last name.

The show’s theme song was called “I’ll Be There For You by The Rembrandts and the chorus has these words.

I’ll be there for you

(When the rain starts to pour)

I’ll be there for you

(Like I’ve been there before)

I’ll be there for you

(‘Cause you’re there for me too)

Although now you have that song stuck in your head for the rest of the day (you’re welcome) the words make a whole lot of sense.  Having a good friend in your life is really important.  Sadly, in today’s world many people don’t have a true friend that will be there for them when the rain starts to pour.  In fact a 2006 study published in American Sociological Review found that people in the U.S. had fewer friends than they’d had 20 years prior. In 1985, the average American claimed to have three close confidants (which could have included spouses or family members, in addition to friends), but by 2004, the average American had only two close confidants. One in four people reported having no one to talk to at all (Discovery Channel Study).

I’ve been lucky in my life to have at least one close friend with whom I truly feel comfortable sharing anything.  In previous posts I’ve mentioned my best friend Robb whose friendship to this day remains one of the dearest things to me.  He truly is closer to me than few people in this world.   But now that I live in Chicago my friend Aaron has become the “I’ll Be There For You” relationship in my life.  That’s not to say that my wife Cherie isn’t my closest relationship, but I believe it’s important to have other people speaking into your life other than your spouse.  Aaron is that for me and I cherish that friendship too.

Nowadays friendship is relegated to cyberspace where people follow sentences you type or pictures you post.  Physical interaction has been squeezed out for mass quantities of impersonalization.  We sugar coat our existence so that people will “like” us and maybe even dream to be like us one day when in reality our world is in as much decay, if not more, than theirs.  True friendship is lost, but it is oh so important that it is found somehow.  In fact, Solomon would go so far as to say that one without friends would be greatly unwise.

  • A friend can wound you in such a way that it actually saves your life. (v. 6)
  • A friend can help protect you and your family not just physically but spiritually. (v. 10)
  • A friend helps you avoid danger, but one without suffers. (v. 12)
  • A friend helps to shape our character against one another so both become sharp. (v. 17)
  • A friend knows the kind of praise that will come at just the right time but not cause you to stumble in pride. (v. 21)

It is a wise person that seeks out a relationship that gives permission to speak into their life.  The 17th century English author John Donne was right when he said “no man is an island. No one is self-sufficient; everyone relies on others.

Solomon tried to create his own island filled with money, women, and power, but in the end he had no one that spoke into his life enough to save it.  Don’t be fooled that you can do it yourself.  Reach out, be vulnerable, be a friend to someone else, and let the words of someone who loves you rush over your life and smooth over the edges.

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